Robert N EmersonMy thoughts on G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
August 8th 2009 00:35
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra wasn't that impressive, although it wasn't that disappointing, either. Obviously, if I'm to go into detail, there will be some spoilers here and there. That's life.
Overall, The Rise of Cobra was a movie with lots of explosions, "cool" stuff, and hot chicks. However, it was suppose to be a G.I. Joe movie, not G.I. Joe-ish. It's odd, because I'm still trying to figure out where the fault is at, since the cast was good at what they were given, but the movie didn't connect with me.
Now that's odd, since I've been a G.I. Joe fan since before elementary school, it and D & D are tired with being my earliest geekisms, right behind Star Wars. But, this movie wasn't aimed at G.I. Joe fans, instead I think it was meant to catch those fans in the crossfire while it was aimed at the general public.
If they would have titled this as anything other than G.I. Joe, I'd say it was a modest Summer flick with some good blockbuster potential. The action was okay, especially the ninja stuff, and the techie toys were okay, too. Yet, this was suppose to be the origins of Cobra splashed across the screen in their first outing against G.I. Joe, which could have been epic, instead it's a sparkler that should have been ground blooming flower. More flash and fizzle than excitement and flash.
As a G.I. Joe fan I knew there were going to be some changes, most of which didn't bother me as I could care less about the globalization of things, or Ripcord being African-American for no reason. In fact, I was okay with it and Marlon Wayans performance wasn't half-bad. Heck, many of the performances weren't half-bad, nor the plot, yet the backstory is where I started to get irked. Sure, they had to modernize it a bit, twist things to fit more into what was on the screen, but they still screwed things up.
The flashback stuff got to be more overused than it was in Highlander, television or movies, and that's saying something. But, with only a couple of exceptions, it was all poorly done and detracted more than it added to the movie. Plus, having the fund between Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow start when they were tweens is pathetic, almost as pathetic as making Cobra Commander and the Baroness siblings with Duke as the boyfriend who let the brother "die."
By the way, speaking of lame changes to character stories and back-stories: The tragic love of Scarlett and Snake-Eyes is one of the coolest things from the G.I. Joe comics, thus why it was lame in the cartoons to make it Duke and Scarlett. Also, Destro and the Baroness should not be some creepy techno date rape gone weird, either. I'm sure the folks behind the movie didn't want to have their actors work beyond their range...oh, wait, they had actors full of range!
Also, if you're going to subtitled the movie 'The Rise of Cobra' then Cobra had best rise during the movie and not just get slapped down in what was obviously a movie whose only purpose was to seed interest in a sequel. While the uniforms slowly start to get more Cobra like, as well as the famous symbol appearing new the end of the movie, it's fairly sad that we only see what passes for Cobra for a handful of minutes before they're taken out and down and jailed.
Yes, everyone can see how they'd be out and released by the next movie, thanks to the so-called twist in the movie, but even that was poorly handled. Hopefully Vosloo got a nice paycheck for the movie, as it didn't help his career that much.
I've heard that there are critics out there that seem to feel that if you didn't enjoy the movie then you just weren't getting what the movie was made for and to them I just say, "B.S."
Seriously, I'm the guy who should be salivating for this movie, for the characters in it, and clamoring for a sequel, but I'm not. While I'm sure someone out there is going to blame Marlon Wayans for this, just like they did with the Dungeons & Dragons movie, please don't...he did an okay job with what he was given, just like the D & D movie. But, to those who are at fault for this, will you please stay away from my childhood and stop peeing in my cornflakes.
Overall, The Rise of Cobra was a movie with lots of explosions, "cool" stuff, and hot chicks. However, it was suppose to be a G.I. Joe movie, not G.I. Joe-ish. It's odd, because I'm still trying to figure out where the fault is at, since the cast was good at what they were given, but the movie didn't connect with me.
Now that's odd, since I've been a G.I. Joe fan since before elementary school, it and D & D are tired with being my earliest geekisms, right behind Star Wars. But, this movie wasn't aimed at G.I. Joe fans, instead I think it was meant to catch those fans in the crossfire while it was aimed at the general public.
If they would have titled this as anything other than G.I. Joe, I'd say it was a modest Summer flick with some good blockbuster potential. The action was okay, especially the ninja stuff, and the techie toys were okay, too. Yet, this was suppose to be the origins of Cobra splashed across the screen in their first outing against G.I. Joe, which could have been epic, instead it's a sparkler that should have been ground blooming flower. More flash and fizzle than excitement and flash.
As a G.I. Joe fan I knew there were going to be some changes, most of which didn't bother me as I could care less about the globalization of things, or Ripcord being African-American for no reason. In fact, I was okay with it and Marlon Wayans performance wasn't half-bad. Heck, many of the performances weren't half-bad, nor the plot, yet the backstory is where I started to get irked. Sure, they had to modernize it a bit, twist things to fit more into what was on the screen, but they still screwed things up.
The flashback stuff got to be more overused than it was in Highlander, television or movies, and that's saying something. But, with only a couple of exceptions, it was all poorly done and detracted more than it added to the movie. Plus, having the fund between Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow start when they were tweens is pathetic, almost as pathetic as making Cobra Commander and the Baroness siblings with Duke as the boyfriend who let the brother "die."
By the way, speaking of lame changes to character stories and back-stories: The tragic love of Scarlett and Snake-Eyes is one of the coolest things from the G.I. Joe comics, thus why it was lame in the cartoons to make it Duke and Scarlett. Also, Destro and the Baroness should not be some creepy techno date rape gone weird, either. I'm sure the folks behind the movie didn't want to have their actors work beyond their range...oh, wait, they had actors full of range!
Also, if you're going to subtitled the movie 'The Rise of Cobra' then Cobra had best rise during the movie and not just get slapped down in what was obviously a movie whose only purpose was to seed interest in a sequel. While the uniforms slowly start to get more Cobra like, as well as the famous symbol appearing new the end of the movie, it's fairly sad that we only see what passes for Cobra for a handful of minutes before they're taken out and down and jailed.
Yes, everyone can see how they'd be out and released by the next movie, thanks to the so-called twist in the movie, but even that was poorly handled. Hopefully Vosloo got a nice paycheck for the movie, as it didn't help his career that much.
I've heard that there are critics out there that seem to feel that if you didn't enjoy the movie then you just weren't getting what the movie was made for and to them I just say, "B.S."
Seriously, I'm the guy who should be salivating for this movie, for the characters in it, and clamoring for a sequel, but I'm not. While I'm sure someone out there is going to blame Marlon Wayans for this, just like they did with the Dungeons & Dragons movie, please don't...he did an okay job with what he was given, just like the D & D movie. But, to those who are at fault for this, will you please stay away from my childhood and stop peeing in my cornflakes.
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